I can't believe it's been close to 3 months since I last posted to our blog. As I read through my last post, there were times it felt like some of those events happened just yesterday and others a lifetime ago. So much has happened and changed in our lives. As most of you know, we lost our son Jacob on Dec 21. He was born at only 18 weeks gestation. The medical world says that is a miscarriage, but we think of it as a stillbirth. Bryant and I were able to name him, have him baptized and to spend time holding him - saying hello and good-bye in a single moment. He was the tiniest thing I had ever seen -- only 9 oz and 8 3/4 inches, but he was perfect. He had 10 perfect long fingers like his Daddy and 10 funny toes like his Mommy. We were blessed with compassionate and experienced nurses and doctors. They treated Jacob with such care and respect. They created a special memory box for us with some pictures, tiny feet and hand prints and a blanket that Jacob was wrapped in while in their care. It has taken some time, but we are finally feeling like our feet are back on the ground and we are moving forward with life. We miss Jacob so much, but we know he is with God in heaven watching over us.
It was hard to explain everything to Marcus. He had just started to talk about the new baby and his little brother. However, I think he may get it more than we know. The other day while we were driving along in the car, Marcus and I were singing "He's Got The Whole World in His Hands". When the verse about "the little bitty baby" came around, Marcus said, "A little baby like my baby. My baby with Jesus." When I asked him who he was talking about, he said, "Jacob Mommy! My angel." If I hadn't been driving, I think I would have hugged him for hours! He certainly has been our main source of happiness and joy during such a sad time.
We had a VERY white Christmas here in Kansas. Over 20 inches fell! It was beautiful. We had so much fun celebrating our first Christmas as a family! Seeing the season through a child's eyes is magical! While we missed being with our extended family, we cherished this special Christmas at home. Marcus was so overwhelmed with all the gifts he received from family and friends. He hardly knew what to think! (I'll get some photos uploaded soon!) He is still singing "Jingle Bells" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town!"
One piece of news I almost forgot to share is that we found out in December that we will be staying here in Kansas another year - yeah! We are so excited that Bryant was selected to attend the School of Advanced Military Studies (SAMS) here at Fort Leavenworth. So we'll be around until the summer of 2011!
Hard to believe we are a month into 2010! So far this year has been a good one for us. We are excited to see what all it holds for our family and friends. I'll do better at posting updates and will get some pictures uploaded. Until next time. . .
